White Ribbon and Hot Water

I haven't done this in awhile. I've got a white ribbon tied around my forehead and I'm not totally sure how it got there. Well, I am, I tied it there last night, but I only have a vague memory of tying it. It's been there so long now though that it's like it's a part of my head. My hair is all mussed up and matted around the ribbon, but I like it. I'm really dirty in general actually, but again I like it. Lately I like being dirty more than I ever have before. I've been a person who couldn't stand being dirty. Normally, if I go a day without showering I feel like I'm going crazy. Like, I can't even be happy when I feel unclean, I just feel disgusting and uncomfortable and actually unhappy. But now, I feel dirty, physically I guess, but I feel clean in other ways. Really refreshed. That's strange too, because I'm exhausted, and you wouldn't think exhaustion would go with being refreshed, but it does. The thing is though, maybe I'm a hypocrite, because I know I'm going to shower later, but really more for the hot water than anything.